• APRIL 4 •
One day at a time—this is enough. Do not look back and grieve over the past, for it is gone. —Ida Scott Taylor
It’s not always easy to understand that the day stretching before us is all that counts. Daydreaming about the party last week, or getting upset all over again about a fight we had yesterday with a friend doesn’t help us right now. When our minds are on the past, we miss out on the conversation or the activity that is going on around us. Every moment of the day is special, and guaranteed to help us grow and understand life. All of us have been taught to pay attention in school or to pay attention when others talk to us. But we should also pay attention to the birds, the sky, even the grass. And we can learn a lot by paying attention to the conversations going on around us, and to the small voice inside us that helps us know right from wrong. What’s going on today is enough to pay attention to.
Am I ready to pay attention to what is around me today?
Anonymous. Today's Gift: Daily Meditations for Families (Hazelden Meditations) . Hazelden Publishing. Kindle Edition.
Focus can be a big challenge for me at times. I am so easily distracted due to the auditory processing disorder I have. Sounds will fight against each other. Mom always called me a daydreamer and so did my teachers. It is just much easier for me to not focus and to drift into fantasy but I have found that when I need to listen, I have to remove all background noise. My hearing is acute and the more noise, the more problems I have. I have learned how to filter out some noises but it takes a lot of energy and it leaves me very exhausted at the end of the day and very irritable. Now there is nothing I can do about APD but I had learned how to live with it and mask it to appear more on the neurotypical side.
Let me give you an example of this moment and the noise I have in my house right now and me trying to write this share. I have the TV on with the news in the background. My husband likes to keep the TV on in the morning. So I am fighting this noise from the TV and his comments. This is normal life for most but for me, I totally will lose my train of thought with each sound that happens, I will have to read what I wrote many times again before I can process it. Right now, I am a little frustrated and irritable from it. I can easily react instead of act. So meditation is a big part of recovery - quieting of the mind. So I am going to have to take a break and get back into the present. My mind is all over the place and I have to pull it back into focus on what I am writing. Crazy huh? Thank goodness for Grammarly. I use it a lot to help with my writing. It will also help bring the focus back to me and correct what I wrote. I will forget to put the ending of some words totally changing what I mean. It is a communication problem that I have. So just writing anything that I do is a big struggle for me. Now, you know the stranger thing, my own thoughts will distract me and will lose what was just said. I hate it. It is embarrassing.
So am I ready to pay attention? I will have to put the effort in and I have to make a decision on how important is it. Everyone deserves to be listened to and heard. So, I have to take care of myself today and plan for my day ahead.